I have a nail in my head. The nail represents the "problems" in my life: sins, imperfections, challenges, trials, etc. When I look in the mirror, it is hard for me to see anything but the nail. I know there is a nail in my head. I know the nail is causing me pain and suffering. I probably even know what the nail is and have considered several ways to remove the nail.
What I need is for someone to listen and validate ME: the real me. The me without the nail. The me that I have a hard time seeing because I'm blinded by the nail (my flaws and imperfections). I am also open to hearing your suggestions on how to remove the nail, but only AFTER I have been validated. Because if I'm simply told "well, you need to do this and this and this to get that nail out of your head" then what you're really telling me is to get rid of the only part of myself that I can see at the moment. And that is pretty overwhelming.
I love this video. It is so humorous and yet so true. Understanding this concept helps me in my relationships with others. I want to do my best to be supportive and validating to the people I love.